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Psychology
How To Suspend Judgment Long Enough To See The World As It Truly Is
You’d have thought I was judging the Miss Universe Pageant.
As I drove, I took my “job” of appraising front yard magnolia trees seriously. Tall and elegant, magnolias have large, glossy, and evergreen leaves. Their white flowers, the size of dinner plates, unfurl in a slow striptease, as glamorous as a ’30s Hollywood starlet. They’re gorgeous trees.
Nevertheless, I gave them an F for bloom-to-foliage ratio.
In my mind, the perfect magnolia tree should be covered by explosions of white framed by dark green. And then I came to my senses and laughed at myself.
Who was I to judge nature’s craft projects? 🙄
My observational superpowers are useful in business, but they get in the way of enjoying life. When I am being judgy, and not merely observant, I choke off empathy. When I am being judgy, I want to fix, improve, or condemn. I am not reveling, admiring, or discerning what’s true and real, value-neutral.
Be uplifted by just witnessing the world, as it is, with an open heart.
When I have a judgy thought I ask “what if it’s fine the way it is?” and “what is praiseworthy about it?” I cultivate connection and acceptance, for myself and the entire universe.
To focus on how the magnolia blooms is to miss how welcome its broad green leaves are to my eyes in winter, how precious the delicate white mushrooms are that only grow on its seed pods, and how cleverly it enlisted beetles as pollinators, having evolved before bees.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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