Portfolio Liberation

This essay first appeared in my newsletter on April 4th 2025. You can view the original, with art and resource links, here. Get my weekly dose of shame-free, neuro-spicy, no-nonsense advice by subscribing.

Freaking out? Get solace.

Wednesday was Liberation Day, according to POTUS.

Today, the only thing my portfolio is being liberated from is profits.

The only glimmer of green on my quote screen? 🍃

A gold miner.

(I went a mile below ground in the Arctic Circle researching this one back when I ran big money. Research is fun!)

A gold ETF.

A pharma company that’s been down so long it’s up slightly.

Peeps, it’s UGLY out there.

I could tell you to ignore the stupidity of tariffs on penguins.

I could tell you to buy the dips and prove it with the long-term data.

I could tell you the global economy is a complex system and that capitalism is resilient.

That’s just pain with a side of platitudes.

What To Do Until Your Portfolio Gets Properly Liberated:

1. Don’t check your balances compulsively.

After the 100th time you see your balance dropping, you won’t be able to stand it anymore, and you’ll puke up your stocks just when the market is bottoming.